First of all, how was your morning? I’m sorry I left you on all night, but I was afraid of losing my saved work. You know, that mirrored video of Ai No Imi Wo Oshiete? The one that I slowed down to half speed, to learn the dance to? Yeah that one. The one I spent from 11pm until 3am this morning trying to save as a proper movie file. You know, it really isn’t right what you do to me. I spent my time downloading that video off youtube, converting the FLV file to a MPEG, capturing the WAV sound file off the MPEG, slowing said WAV file down to half speed, fixing the pitch so Double U didn’t sound like they turned into two men, saving that file, then giving it to you. Not to mention the whole trouble I had with giving the MPEG file to you, slowing it down to half speed, silencing the two men singing and adding the fixed pitch track to the movie.
You know all too well what happened next, you bastard. I try to save the project and you SHUT DOWN! What the hell do you think I am, a kindergarten teacher? I do NOT have the patience to put up with your bullshit.
So anyway, I restart the computer, and wake you up again. Because you’re so scared of what I’m going to do to you, you decide to tell me you have recovered what was lost. I save the project, no problems. I play the video through, no problems. “Alright, time to save it to a movie file then hit the hay”, I think to myself in anticipation. The bed looked so~ nice and comfortable at that moment.
But what do you give me? A million and one friggen choices of file size! I’m a simple woman damn it, especially when I’m tired! And no, I don’t care if you recommend the 113.65 MB file size! Do you think I’m that dumb to fill up my small amount of harddrive space left, with one movie file of 7 minutes in length?! And besides, who hired you as the all-knowing, smooth talking sales assistant who can gauge his customer well enough to recommend what they need? Anyway, after choosing one with signifigantly less size (Video for broadband, 19.87 MB) you tell me that you cannot save the file!! WHAT THE HELL?!?!?
Ok, so I went and brushed my teeth at that point, even though I had done it a few hours earlier, simply because 1) it gave me a chance to get away from you and 2) I like having an excuse to see my angry face in the mirror.
After my minor interlude, I came back ready to handle whatever bullshit you were to dish out. You told me that you couldn’t save it to the location I had selected. I tried saving it My Documents you stupid idiot, of course you can save it there. You told me (you didn’t even ask nicely! Rude!) to make sure the source files I used in my movie were still available. Yeah, I did that. They all work. And then you tell me to check if theres enough disk space availabe. Well thats rich, coming from the one who tried to sell me into choking my hard drive! And yeah, there is enough space available! There is nothing wrong on my side! It’s you damnit!
I really don’t get this; are you trying to push me away? Do you want me to reinstall Nero so I can use his movie making abilities? Don- don’t you re-respect me anymore? What is it? Is it my choice of videos that you don’t like? We need to talk about this instead of you just pushing me away!
Please reply soon!
Ashi.
(No, my readers, I do not usually write letters to my computer programs, or talk to them. In fact, my close friends know that I hate letter writing with a passion. Which is exactly why I’m writing my rant in this form. I figured that, as I’m moving away and overseas calls cost an arm and a leg, I should get used to writing letters if my blog idea fails to connect with my friends and family. Oh and no, WMM and I are not and never have been seeing each other. I swear! If this post has been too out-of-the-box and is freaking you out, I suggest you tell me so. Otherwise, it could get worse. Oh, and if you have any suggestions or know exactly why I’m having this problem, PLEASE help me!)
